Mediation is a voluntary process that many couples find very helpful in dealing with the breakdown of their relationship without going to court. If you and your ex (whether previously married, living together or same sex couple) struggle to talk together on your own, but want to reach agreed decisions about the practical issues that arise on separation, mediation may be the right option for you.
Mediation is not counselling. It is focused on helping you reach decisions about practical issues, such as finding the best timetable for care of your children, and the financial arrangements which is most acceptable to you both.
The process starts with both of you in the room with the mediator, whose job is to be a neutral facilitator of your negotiations. The mediator does not impose decisions or options on you. It is not an easy process, since it can be very painful to sit and listen to someone you feel angry or bitter towards.
However, the reason many people find mediation of use is that it is not handing over power to make important decisions to lawyers and to the judges who do not know you or your children. You jointly make those decisions. This can be important for your children- you may have stopped being in an intimate relationship with each other, but will have a lifetime relationship of being co-parents. Children find the burden of seeing their parents fighting over them very difficult to bear, and telling them that the decisions have been made by agreement between you can be most important thing you do for them.
You can instruct us for a MIAM where we can discuss whether mediation is suitable for you.